Short Dick

On seeing an elephant's dick in the zoo, the little boy asked his mom,"Ma, what is that?"
Embarrassed, she said, "It's nothing"
His Pa boomed from behind,"Heard it finally? Even THAT is nothing for your mum"..

No carbon copies please!!

Once at a hill station, on the lawn of a big hotel, three elderly women were playing cards. A fourth approached and she asked if she could join them. They said,"Of course, you are welcome, but there are a few rules." And they handed her a printed card, with four rules on it 1 - Never talk abot mink coats, because we all have them. 2 - Never talk about your grandchildren, because we all are grandmothers. 3 - Never talk about jewelry because we all have precious jewelry. And 4 - Never talk about sex - what was, was!

Totally Lost

A little boy comes home from school one day and says, Hey mommy, I just saw a flat cat!" "Uh," says his mother. "How did you know it was flat?" "Because there was another cat pumping it up!"a